Never say Never: Paradigm Shifts

Growing up in an African family, I had a certain mindset, that if I study hard, have a positive attitude, have ethical standards, then everything would be okay. No failures. That is exactly what I did. I was a top student, I took instruction and advice and knew that I would be set for the world once I was done with the schooling system. Again, no failures. Just the perfect little life I had planned out in my head.

After campus, I secured a job. I had a good morning on this particular day, oblivious to the fact that a serious blow awaited me that day. At around 12 noon, I took a break to enjoy the sun. Guess what I came back to find on my laptop screen? A termination of contract email from my HR! You can imagine the shock I got. My cute little bubble was burst. . I mean this was failure. Raw failure. How? I did everything right. How could I fail?

In the end, I survived, but it took me long enough to process the failure and get these AHA! Moments. After a lot of struggle, I was able to start changing my way of looking at life and the situations that come with it. My paradigm shifted from looking at failure as the end to looking at it as part of the process. And just like how I used to prepare for all those exams back then, I should also prepare for the experiences that come in life.

My paradigm shifted from looking at failure as the end, to looking at it as part of the process. And just like how I used to prepare for all those exams back then, I should also prepare for the experiences that come in life.

Ever had one of those AHA! Moments that made you look at certain things in a totally different way? Yeah, those ones that make you go like, mm! I’ve never seen it this way. And it does make a lot of sense". If you have ever chosen one outlook (and maintained it) over your normal outlook, that is basically a paradigm shift.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a paradigm shift is an important change that happens when the usual way of thinking about or doing something is replaced by a new and different way. Most of the time it is used in scientific contexts, but I choose to tackle it from the 'science of life' point of view.

Starting with the ABC, the current paradigms (outlook on stuff), that most people have are not their own. If something works for the larger number of people/situations, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it will work for you too. Those might be someone else’s installed and learned stereotyped practices, beliefs and behavioral patterns that you may have picked as you grew up. Most people never bother about having their own paradigms because their lives are on autopilot. Fortunately, those who search for something, will eventually find it.

I have had one too many paradigms shift in my life, from religion, to career/profession, to relationships/friendships, whoop! The list is endless. But one common thing, is that it all stems from the mind.

Onto the big question now. What are some of the most common paradigm shifts of life? Let’s do a quick list of a few examples. Shifting from;

1. Being unconscious of self, to being conscious of self.

2. Living in the past/future to living in the present.

3. Choosing quality over quantity.

4. Criticism and judgement to appreciation and gratitude

5. Focusing outwards to focusing inwards.

6. Not enough time, to prioritizing what needs to be done.

7. More to less but better (minimalistic mindset).

8. Thinking you are perfect to accepting that you are flawed.

9. Doubting yourself to believing in yourself

10. Needing to get more to how much value you are giving.

These are just but a few examples. What paradigm(s) do you think need to change in your life?